This Present Moment
A few days ago my daughter no longer looked little. Overnight her clothes too small. Her attitude to match her sudden growth. Our trip to the mall to buy clothes to fit her new body always an adventure. This time she picked her own outfits bluntly letting me know I have no sense of fashion. With a giant bag of I have no idea what we left.
The process of culling my children’s clothing is meditative. First thing is to play Billie Holiday. Then create piles to donate. To throw away. To save. There’s a method to this meditation. After, reflection. Her life in sizes and stains. Little legs. chubby cheeks. Markers, paint smears all gone. A new chapter awaits. In order to make room for something new, I have to let go of something old.
Her picks made me pause. The first t shirt simply said Love. There are 96 ways to say love in Sanskrit and only one in English. The ways we show up in love infinite. Holding hands. Family meals. Late night cuddles to defeat the nightmares turn into morning snuggles. Kissing scrapes and bumps. Fighting and forgiving on repeat. A blur most days one thing certain, I’ve learned how to show up in love when life absolutely hard.
The next shirt a logo “happiness on the horizon.” She will experience heart break. I hope she comes to me so I can tell her she’s good enough. Then remind her even in the dark there is always a sliver of light even if it’s a pinprick. Sometimes the dark lasts too long but hang on. Just keep going. The only way to the other side is directly through it.
The last shirt said think good thoughts. If the mind negative we try to invite thoughts of love and if that feels too hard, go to the people we love and be in their presence and let go of the rest. This simple teaching showed me how to get out of my own way with continued steady practice. It taught me to say goodbye to people and shrink my circle.
This little creature came home from the mall with a bag of yoga, living in the present moment. She lives breathes love, life, laughter and when one day she loses her way she’ll have a road map to find her way back.